Emotions as Information (2min read)

Inside Out, the Academy Award-winning film of 2015, follows five humanoid emotions inside a young girl's head as she struggles after her family's move to a new city.

Anger lets us know when things feel unjust. Fear keeps us away from danger. Disgust saves us from eating potentially toxic foods. Joy signals safety when things feel good. Sadness...well, the movie is essentially about the role sadness plays in our life, and I don't want to give it away for the folks who haven't seen it yet.

I brought up the movie this morning when my preschooler said: "When I'm angry, I should shoo away the anger to find love." 

It's a sweet sentiment for a tiny person.  My ears perked up at the phrase "shoo away the anger," though.  She's increasingly aware of the pressure to conform now--it doesn't escape her observation that adults are less than pleased when a child tantrums in frustration.

I asked: "Do you remember the job of anger in the movie? It lets us know when something feels unfair or blocks us from what we want. Anger gives us information that something's not right. We can use that to figure out what we need."

Easier said than done, of course.  There is much to figure out about expressing anger in a way that resolves rather than perpetuates conflict.

The goal here is not to throw away anger to be nice but to listen to it long enough to understand where the conflict happened in the first place.

What information do your emotions have to share with you?

Warm regards,

-Mariya